Today, a couple of my students were talking about their plans for the weekend. You see the weekend, for them (and me) will start tomorrow because we have Friday off in honor of Veteran’s Day. Woo Hoo! Anyway, to my dismay their plans included “getting faded.” When I asked, “Well, what does getting faded mean?”, I was told that it meant getting drunk and enjoying the high and feeling that comes with it. So I pressed for more details. One student imitated the way she felt, which was carefree and loose (in the sense that she felt nothing was weighing her down) by slowly waving her arms and hands in the air. And then, she imitated herself throwing up in a toilet.
I stated, “So, X, you mean to tell me that it feels good to hug a cold toilet while puking your guts out?” She looked at me with this puzzled look on her face.
“No.” But, it feels good . . . . before that part. I’m just chillin’. I’m not caring about anything.”
I stressed the point over and over that they were underage and too young to be drinking. It didn’t matter. One boy said his dad and other relatives shared their beer with him. He told stories of how he spent his 16th birthday in Mexico getting drunk with family and friends there. He acted as if he was proud of it. Meanwhile, I was saddened.
Both my T.A. (teaching assistant) and I told them stories of people who we knew, while in college, who got drunk and had things happen to them. X, the girl who told me that she was planning to get “faded,” had mentioned that she stopped a drunk friend from getting raped. Still, the dangers of drinking, drugs and date rape would not deter her. Again, I felt saddened and helpless. Saddened because some of my kids lead such hard lives and face such harsh realities that I can understand why they look for ways to escape. But, I certainly don’t think that drinking and drugs are the answer.
And then, I feel helpless because no matter what I say or try to do. No matter what their school counselors say or try to do, some of them are encouraged by their own parents and guardians to engage in that type of behavior. That’s what saddens and frustrates me the most-the parental encouragement or lack of discouragement.
Sometimes I just want to yell and scream, “What is wrong with some of these parents!!!!????” I know you want your kids to like you and think you are cool, but seriously, does that mean helping them get plastered and contributing to their delinquent behavior? I’d like to know what you think.
November 10, 2006 at 8:55 am |
Ah, high-risk health behavior among teens. One of my favorite subjects. Well, I don’t mean to sound like a pompous ass, but there are literally TONS of theories on why people engage in unhealthy behavior. One I like is the Health Belief Model. The first component is “perceived susceptibility” – in order for a person to avoid or quit engaging in an unhealthy behavior (for example, smoking), they have to believe they are susceptible to any negative effects. If a person doesn’t believe he or she is likely to get lung cancer, then he or she is unlikely to quit smoking any time soon.
I also like the “systems” or socio-ecological model that says basically: Human behavior is extremely complex and no one single factor governs it. So, factors that lead teens to get pregnant include everything from low academic goals (i.e., it’s not like I’m going off to college, so what am I ruining if I get pregnant at 15?) to older female siblings who were or are also teen parents (Suzi did it and Mom and Dad didn’t kill her).
Finally (like you asked), the other thing we know for sure about health behavior is that knowledge does NOT equal behavior change. Think about it: Have you ever done something that you KNEW was bad for you? I know I have: Eaten artery-clogging foods, smoked a cigarette or two (after watching my grandmother die of LUNG CANCER, for Pete’s sake), exceeded the speed limit, “forgot” to wear my seatbelt, skipped workouts, etc.,
I didn’t mean to hijack your post, but when you’re getting your PhD in this subject, you tend to go on ad nauseum.
Keep trying – keep talking to them, keep role modeling positive behavior and compliment the kids who don’t drink or do drugs on THEIR behavior. But know you’re just one factor of many. I get it – it’s totally frustrating.
November 10, 2006 at 8:58 am |
Oh! Sorry – one more thing – with teens, we DO know that the strongest influence on their behavior is peers. Not parents, not teachers. Although, I will agree that parents supplying them with alcohol doesn’t help matters. Dumb and irresponsible. AND (sorry – again I’m on a rampage) we DO know that the younger a person starts drinking or using drugs, the more likely he or she is to have an addiction later. Sad.
November 13, 2006 at 12:58 am |
Interesting. A high school friend of mine had an older sister who got pregnant as a teen. And guess what happened. Said friend ended up pregnant too. Now she is due with her fourth soon and I think she’s 26? I’m not sure. She is a few years younger than me. We don’t really keep in touch anymore. Then I think about my dad. His mother smoked practically all his life. She quit when I was very young. I still remember her smoking. Anyway, my dad doesn’t smoke. His adopted brother does though. And his biological parents smoked as well. Very interesting.
November 18, 2006 at 10:40 pm |
I don’t have the training you and the other teachers who respond here do but I have noticed kids think they’re immortal. Bad things always happen to someone else, never to them.
My two sons were in Ala-teen as soon as they were old enough. They went to AA meetings with me. We talked about alcoholism being a family disease and that their chances of alcohol backfiring on them were fairly high.
Did it help? Nope – not then. They both (especially my older boy) set out to prove it couldn’t happen to them. It did but fortunately they recognized it early.
I haven’t mentioned any of that on my blog of course. It’s their story to tell.