Today was a crazy day. It’s bad enough that I have a cold, I know…… Summer colds are the worst, but the day was so crazy that I had to come home and sleep. Honestly, I felt like I needed a glass of wine, but I decided to take a very long nap instead. It helped…..some, but here I am, writing to you.
I had an incident spill over from yesterday, where a student who did not want to complete a quiz, despite being allowed to use the texts, notes, hand outs and comprehension/review questions, to take this quiz, caused a big ruckus. The questions from said quiz were lifted directly from the comprehension/review questions. The kid basically had the answers sitting in front of her. But none the less, it was “too hard” and she loudly proclaimed, after refusing my assistance the girl continued to yell out, ”I can’t do this! My comprehension is low! Call my mama, she’ll tell you. I can’t do this because my comprehension is low!” This same girl, had no problem gossiping and helping to stir up problems between kids from rival gangs. Having had this student in a class last semester, I know that she was also capable of writing and comprehending letters written by and to her from other students. I also know that she is able to comprehend the advances of persons of the opposite sex, both verbally and written. This ability to comprehend the advances of boys, one of which was in a few of my classes it what led to a rumored abortion last month.
But, because she was so determined to not complete the quiz or do anything else besides talk, the situation escalated to the point where I had to have her leave my class and her mother was called. As I have stated in the past, just a minute or so with a parent and it usually becomes painfully clear why the kid behaves the way that he or she does. This case was no different except that it became clear in about five seconds. I don’t think that I have ever had a parent who was as rude and disrespectful to me as this woman was. She yelled and cursed and later came to the school, where she continued to yell and curse. In the meantime, while I and later the principal, was on the phone trying to tell her what had happened, the girl was in the background yelling, “Let me speak to my mama! I wanna speak to my mama……..y’all don’t want my mama to come up here. I’m telling you, y’all don’t want my mama to come up here!” This kid later stood next to and then over the principal, as he was trying to speak to her mother, demanding that he hand over the phone. This girl even balled a hand into a fist and hit her other hand with it, while standing over the principal, as if to intimidate him.
Long story short, the mother came to the school, smelling like a brewery, loud as ever and just acted like an ignorant fool. She cursed and threatened my aide (she didn’t see me, so that’s why I was spared) saying, “Bitch you better not ever get in my daughter’s face again!” before speeding off. But, what was crazy was that the aide was never, at any point, ”in her daughter’s face.”
I’ve been through worse with students, but I found myself highly bothered and upset over this incident for a few reasons.
One, I felt that it was a situation that had gotten totally out of hand and was manipulated by a kid who simply didn’t want to do what she in school to do, which is school work. The situation was so overblown and completely unnecessary. It wasn’t even a issue of her not wanting to complete the quiz. I was not going to allow her to contribute to the escalating gang tensions that has been a problem, a growing problem, at the school in recent months. This girl is, well was (she was indefinitely suspended and could be kicked out of the school so I hear) at the center of it all.
Two, I felt, based on prior experiences, that I was going to be put on the defensive by the DoE. After having to defend myself and my aide to a parent who didn’t want to hear what I had to say, I was not in the mood to have to defend myself and the aide to her too. I found myself frustrated knowing that I put so much energy, concern and heart into most of my students (despite having told myself and by others to give up on those that don’t want to be helped) only to be repeatedly burned and left feeling used and unappreciated. The feeling was compounded knowing that there will most likely be an inquisition tomorrow (Friday) morning by the DoE and that she will find some fault in me and manage to blame me, in whole or in part, for the situation. So, I ended up typing a three page, single spaced incident report and even then I left out so much of what the girl said. I simply didn’t have time to write it all, because I had a doctor’s appointment, which I ended up missing anyway. The report may even prove to be pointless, as it has in the past, if the DoE decides to spout off and make decisions before reading it. She did that when I a student threatened to stab me and I told the student that I would protect myself.
Lastly, I was just highly embarrassed and disappointed by my own people. I hate to say it, but I have seen the worse behavior and received the worst treatment from my own…….fellow African Americans. Yes, black people. This may cause problems, start up a debate, cause controversy, cause you to hate me…….whatever, but I’m going there. I have to because, I’m so fed up. It may seem cliche, but it all hit me like a ton of bricks-my emotions and the intensity of them.
I understand that not all African Americans behave in such a manner. I for one was not raised to be rude and disrespectful to anyone. I have shared many aspects of my childhood and personal life here in previous posts, so for the most part, you get a good idea of how I was brought up. I also understand that many of my students and their parents have been dealt a bad and even many bad hands. I get it. But, in the end, that’s no excuse. So many of my people have risen above difficult, even brutal circumstances (think slavery) to make something of themselves.
Dr. Man grew up in what is known as South Central L.A., was held against his will by four or five members of a gang (he managed to escape), but he never joined one, managed to stay out of trouble and went on to earn a Ph.D. A friend of Dr. Man was convicted of armed robbery as a teenager. He decided to change his life, worked to get his record expunged, went on to earn both a Ph.D. and MBA from recognized universities and recently built a beautiful home in a neighboring state. In addition I personally know and see, on a fairly frequent basis, people who are former gang members and even a former thief, all who have all managed to change their lives for the better. Now, most of the people that have come to mind while writing this, have not earned bachelors, let alone advanced degrees. Yet, they are all productive citizens who are taking life one day at a time, trying to do their best. And, while most of these people are very different from each other, I have noticed that they all have something in common, something that is key in my opinion. This commonality is that, they all will admit what they have done and own up to their pasts, not a single one of them has made excuses for themselves and, most of all, they want to do better and they want to do the right thing. They also seem to understand the importance of education and effort.
As I stated earlier, so many of my people have risen above extremely adverse circumstances. Sure, racism exists both blatantly and covertly, but at some point even that is no excuse. I have received a lot of help and genuine kindness from whites and people of other races and ethnicities. But what bothers me about some of my people is what I see as disorganized priorities and an unwillingness to accept personal responsibility. At what point do we stop placing blame and take some responsibility?
It is my opinion, that a loss or lack of knowledge of our history has a played a big role in not only what I have witnessed and experienced, but is also at the heart of Bill Cosby’s statements and the message that he was trying to convey. I don’t see the dissolution of racism or adversity any time in the near future. I certainly don’t expect to see it in my lifetime. But that can’t stop us. It didn’t stop Phyllis Wheatley. It didn’t stop Frederick Douglass. It didn’t stop Harriet Jacobs. It didn’t stop Elijah McCoy. It didn’t stop Garrett Morgan. It didn’t stop Madame C.J. Walker. It didn’t stop W.E.B DuBois. It didn’t stop Dr. Vivien Thomas. It didn’t stop Alice Walker. It didn’t stop Dr. Ben Carson. It didn’t stop Oprah. It didn’t stop my parents, aunts and uncles. It didn’t stop any of my former professors and mentors who are African American. It didn’t and doesn’t stop Dr. Man. It doesn’t and won’t stop me.
Folks, I just I don’t know what to do, nor do I know where to turn. Help me. I need some feedback. What do you think? Am I missing something? And feel free to be completely honest.
Posted by School Teacher 
Posted by School Teacher 
Posted by School Teacher 
